i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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