he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
