I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize