Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
