Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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