i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
