nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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