So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
