his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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