I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize