he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Let's paint friendship bongs
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
