I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
