I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
