3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
3pm strippers are depressing
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
