Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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