She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
