some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
