She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
