Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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