I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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