I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I enjoy the company of your penis
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
