Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
