Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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