I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I believe in your delicious
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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