so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize