Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
it's great music for shaving your balls
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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