This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
