No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
