can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
