New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
