he puts the penis in happiness.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
