oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
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