I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
