Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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