I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
