This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You work out of a Hotel?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
