Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
