I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
