If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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