I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My life is pants optional.
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