I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
