You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
