Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
