We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize