I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
