If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize