so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
