I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My nipple is on Facebook.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
