I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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