Define "chronic" masturbator.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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