Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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