dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
