At least make sure they are 18
Why
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize