Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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