You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
