who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
