I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
