I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
