is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
