Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
