is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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