i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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