fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize