Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
