Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
