Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
