Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
