so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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