Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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