If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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