So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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