your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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