why didn't you poke me back
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
