so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
