Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
