She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
