I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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