wakey wakey hands off snakey
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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